Instant Message Tales
by YeiYai
Summary: A series of unrelated short stories told primarily by IM.One has nothing to do with th next. Enloy!
1. April Fools

Disclaimer - This is hard to follow at some points, bear w/ it. I don't own Naruto, if I did, well lets just say things would be WAY different.

IM: Saturday, April 2

11:06

Avenger666: We need to talk…

11:15

Avenger666: Come on, answer me!

11:17

KitsuneKyuubi42: …Fuck off!

11:23

Avenger666: Please don't be like this. It was just a joke. I was only teasing, how was I suppose to know that you'd react like that? Hell it was april fools day for fucks sake!

11:24

KitsuneKyuubi42: Well I'm happy you got your laughs… I sure as bloody hell didn't...

11:30

Avenger666: Please, gomenasai, forgive me. You're always chasing skirts when we go to clubs with Kiba and Shikamaru…. How was I suppose to know that you're Bi? Kiba and I were just gonna use the prank as blackmail if it worked.

11:43

KitsuneKyuubi42: Save it, the point is it worked. You got you're blackmail, your bestfriend is a poof. On top of that, he's in love with you. You betrayed me.

11:49

Avenger666: Nonono! It's not like that! I only went threw with the stunt because, b/c the truth is I think I love you.

11:51

KitsuneKyuubi42: Fuck off!

12:00

Avenger666: It's true! I didn't have the guts to admit it, that's really why I agreed to do it. I really was gonna go all the way with you, hell I was prepared to come out and ask you to date me, but right after I got you to admit everything to me, right as I was going to take the plunge, Kiba barged in screaming april fools and you ran away crying. If anyone is the fool its me, I'm so sorry!

12:10

KitsuneKyuubi42:…. I forgive you but its to late for us. For me. Goodbye!

-KitsuneKyuubi42 is Offline-

-You are currently: Online –

Avenger666:

Wait, no, im sorry!

Sasuke didn't find out until the next day, Naruto was dead, a kunai through his heart, Sasuke's name carved all over his bloody, his white sheets now a deep crimson.

Well there you go! Please review!

Naruto: "Y-you killed me!"

Me: "Technically **you **killed you."

Sasuke: "Damn it, the outcome's the same!"

Me: "Relax hun, you know I'd never **actually **kill either of you off…without good reason."


	2. Happy New Year

Intastnt Message Tales

Hi, hi to everyone. Thanks for reviewing. To answer your question, theflawintheplan, no, I didn't actually kill Naruto. Yes, because he insists on doing his own stunts, Naruto paid a visit to the hospital…again. But I'd never kill him off. Anyway, I hope you all understand that each chapter is a separate, unrelated story—some are happy, some are sad, some are crazy, random, awesome. But I digress.

-Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…Who the hell do I gotta sleep with/ kill to change this painful fact!?

Naruto: "Calm down hun, you know we love you."

Sasuke: -laughs- "Even **if** you're crazy."

Me: -Twitches-

IM: Wednesday, December 31

11:00

RavenUchia01: One hour to go dobe, are you ready for a new year?

11:15

Foxlover02: Hells yea!

11:17

RavenUchia01: Did you accomplish everything you wanted to?

11:20

Foxlover02: ….

11:24

RavenUchia01: Hnn… What is this, you got something on your mind?

11:27

Foxlover02: It's nothing…

RavenUchia01: Entering the 'new year' w/o a clean slate? Out with it!

11:30

Foxlover02: I love you

11:37

RavenUchia01: WHAT!?

11:40

Foxlover02: I said that I am in love with you.

11:45

RavenUchia01: …For how long?

11:49

Foxlover02: Since you came back. I'm not gay, I'm not even straight, I only love you.

11:51

RavenUchia01: …honestly, I'm in love with you. You and only you. I don't remember when I haven't felt like this…

12:00

Foxlover02: I want you, need you. I've held out for so long. Happy new year Sasuke.

12:03

Foxlover02: Sasuke?

12:05

RavenUchia01: I'M COMING OVER!

-RavenUchia01 is Offline-

-You are currently: Offline –

Naruto smiled, hearing a door slam open and footsteps tearing down the hall.

Not even the fireworks and the shouts outside could fully drown them out.

Well there you go! Please review!

Me: Second story, whaddya think?"

Naruto: "Yay, I lived! And I got laid!"

Sasuke: -wipes away nosebleed-


	3. Returned

Intastnt Message Tales

Ello my loyal few! Sorry I take so long, I'm a procrastinator at heart. This one is inspired by an ad I saw in shojo beat, its very similar…but I LOVE the idea. So here ya go, please review.

-Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…Or do i…Ok unfortunately I do not.

Naruto: "Haha love, maybe someday."

Sasuke: -laughs- "I sure hope not, I lack the stamina...Although I admit it would rock."

Me: " Yes, constantly."

IM: Thursday, Febuary 26

6:00

NarutoU: I miss you…

- SasukeU is Offline-

6:15

NarutoU: It's been a while since you left.

SasukeU is Offline-

6:17

NarutoU: Life gos on I guess, without you.

- NarutoU is Offline-

6:20

SasukeU: Do you remember the last night before you left? We spent it together, I thought it was permanent, I had hoped it would last… I miss you

SasukeU is Offline-

6:22

NarutoU: …I love you.

6:24

NarutoU: …

- SasukeU is Offline-

6:22

SasukeU: …Naruto?

-You are currently: Online –

Well there you go! Please review!

Me: Third story, whaddya think? I swear, since I referenced it, its not plagarism!"

Naruto: "Wow…spooky.."

Sasuke: -Grins- "I'm baaack."


	4. Valentines Day

IM tales 4

IM tales 4

Ciao, my lovely faithful viewers. Here is another installment of _IM Tales,_ reviews are optional but vital. Also feel free to send me ideas or requests for im tales, I'll be sure to use them and cite and thank you. Also… feel free to send me one shots for my birthday-puppy eyes-.

Disclaimer: I don't own em, I just love em!

Me: September 1 is my birthday!-squeal-

Naruto: "Happy Birthday!!"-glomps-

Sasuke: "Make a wish.."-smiles, and pats my head-

IM: Saturday, February 14

1:26

PariahNin296: Happy Valentines Day, teme, I love you. I wish you were here.

1:28

BloodXLust133: Ily2, I know I miss you too, the missions almost over, just need to fill out some paperwork. I'll be home before the sun sets, I swear.

1:30

PariahNin296: Ok, I'll be waiting, I've got a suprise!

1:35

BloodXLust133: Oh do you, what is it dobe?

1:37

PariahNin296: Nope, not telling!

1:40

BloodXLust133: What do you mean, why not, what is it, tell me.

1:43

PariahNin296: Guess! If you're right you'll get an extra treat.

1:45

BloodXLust133: Fine, I accept your challenge.

1:46

PariahNin296: Yay, now only 'yes or no' questions…Start!

1:50

BloodXLust133: Does it involve the park?

1:52

PariahNin296: No.

1:54

BloodXLust133: Does it involve Ramen?

1:55

PariahNin296: No.

1:57

BloodXLust133: Does it involve our bedroom?

1:58

PariahNin296: Yes.

2:00

BloodXLust133: Does it involve Crossdressing?

2:01

PariahNin296: No.

2:03

BloodXLust133: Does it involve chocolate?

2:04

PariahNin296: Yes.

2:06

BloodXLust133: Does it involve Pink and red ribbons and bows?

2:07

PariahNin296: Yes.

2:10

BloodXLust133: Does it involve icing,lollipops,candy hearts, bananas, icecream?

2:12

PariahNin296: Yes.

2:15

BloodXLust133: Does it involve a cleaning crew?

2:17

PariahNin296: Lmao, no.

2:20

BloodXLust133: Does it involve sex?

2:26

PariahNin296: Yes.

2:34

BloodXLust133: Oh what do you know, I've been able to 'persuade' someone else to do this paperwork for me. Looks like I'm finished early, I'll be home in an hour and a half tops.

2:36

PariahNin296: Thought you would be, I'll be here waiting. You know where to find me.

2:38

BloodXLust133: Like hell I do! Oh and Naruto…

2:40

PariahNin296: Yes?

2:45

BloodXLust133: I got you some crimson roses

2:48

PariahNin296: Any orange ones?

2:50

BloodXLust133: Yes.

2:56

PariahNin296: See you soon. Oh and the treat is pink ramen for breakfast.

3:00

BloodXLust133: Dobe 3.

3:02

PariahNin296: Teme 3

_BloodXLust133 is now offline._

_You are now offline._

There ya go, just something fluffy, to make you giggle. Review!


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